I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
