i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
