i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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