He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
