shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
