do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
