Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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