If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
