I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
