Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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