i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
