my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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