whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
