is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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