..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize