I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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