Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
