Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
