I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
