Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
