the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
