he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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