Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
ttyl tear gas
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
