well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I can text with my tongue
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize