how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
