I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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