YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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