pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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