hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
