i just identified you from a description of your pipe
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Houston, we have a blender
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
