its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
