You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
