found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
