So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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