Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
