I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
