so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
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Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
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This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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