Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
