I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
