What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
