So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
