Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
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I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
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OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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