I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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