What a fucking waste of an outfit
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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