idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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