I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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