Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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