you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
