oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
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I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
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She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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