How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
