I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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