Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
