Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We are two peas in an std pod
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
