Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
splinters make it hard to masturbate
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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