i don't like sucking hair
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
