I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
