That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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