Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
