so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
