So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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