I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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