so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
