Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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