i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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